Indiana Senator Wants Mandatory School Weigh Ins

Senator Gard is rallying to make weigh ins in school mandatory in an attempt to curb obesity in our children.  I can't even begin to explain my outrage. As you are well aware, I have been battling eating disorders of all varieties for about 38 years.  Currently, there are approximately 8 million confirmed cases of bulimia and anorexia.  There have even been cases of anorexia being diagnosed in children as young as 7 years of age.  Obesity is another condition caused by eating disorders.  We should NOT be focusing on the number on the scale.  Instead, we should be teaching our children about the adverse effects of eating disorders, positive effects of proper nutrition and exercise, and how to have love and respect for themselves.  There are many psychosocial issues underlying eating disorders.  To begin with, food is one of the basic human needs.  When we are babies, we are usually held when we "eat" from our bottle.  In this way, we receive love and validation.  Unfortunately, some of us begin to associate that love and validation with food.  That is in the most simpest terms why compulsive overeaters eat.  Those of us with eating disorders are searching for something that somehow, our minds believe food will give us.  Restricting food, such as anorexia, is an attempt to control something.  It all goes back to emotions.  Perhaps, we, as a society, should be teaching our children that it is okay to feel things and express our feelings in an appropriate manner.  "Boys don't cry," "Crying makes you weak," "Don't feel that way"...these phrases are frequently heard and just as harmful as anything else.  Everyone needs balance.  This includes physical (food and exercise), emotional, and spiritual (not to be confused with religion.)  One thing that I have learned on my journey is that the scale is JUST A NUMBER.  We are unique individuals.  Our body shapes are not cloned.  What number is specific for one may not be healthy for another.  Even if the weigh ins are done in private, there will be ridicule.  We are so concerned with bullying in our schools.  For as long as I can remember, "being fat" has always been a target.  Do we need to add fuel to that fire?  Do we truly want to perpetuate the cycles of eating disorders?  I don't.  I want to educate the world.  Food is an addiction.  One that we are forced to consume 3 to 6 times a day.  We cannot live without it.  That would be like making an alcoholic take one drink a day, but allowing him no more.  The tempation is beyond imagination.  We need to provide others with the tools necessary to confront these addictions in a loving and supportive way.  Yes, it needs to begin at home.  I am asking that everyone join me in spreading the word.  I plan to take every road I can find to ensure that my children are not weighed in school.  I have educated them.  I take them to their doctor's appointments.  We talk.  Thankfully, my children are healthy, "normal" children.  No, they are not perfect.  Who is?  My husband often says that there was only one person who was perfect and he died on the cross---is that what you want to happen to you?  We need not be perfect.  We are human.  Our imperfections make us who we are.  We are beautiful, loving, wonderful, unique individuals that simply need to be nurtured. 

Thank you for listening,
Angi  

Let's Go Crazy...

"You know, a long time ago being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody's crazy."-Charles Manson

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most,"-Mark Twain

"I had a thought. It was lonely...so, it left me."-me

Yesterday, I saw my therapist. Depressed, paranoid, and desperate to get out of there. Very unusual for me. Normally, I perceive her office as a warm, safe, loving environment where I am free to be myself. My mind was totally altering my perceptions. She was asking me questions, looking at me, and jotting down notes. In other words, doing her job. I was becoming increasingly paranoid as I sat there. I wanted to yell, "Why are you staring at me? What are you writing about me? " She inquired about the paranoia. I told her I couldn't trust anyone...even her. She thought this episode may have been triggered by deep family discussions we had last week or perhaps, the stress of returning to work. Whatever the cause, i am tired of it. Eventually, she told me to call my nurse practitioner. My NP said it was probably related to stress of returning to work. She said it wasn't anything medicine would help and I needed to work on coping skills with therapist. Previously, my therapist mentioned possibility of needing to go to Stress Center. I told her I wouldn't attempt suicide because I have tried before and always fail. She asked what I was doing to help myself. "Surrounding myself with my family," I told her. I also mentioned the compulsive cleaning. On the positive, I am still abstinent. Reality: I FEEL LIKE SHIT!!! I sat in that chair in her office with tears in my eyes. Tightly closing my eyes, I tried to "disappear." But it was useless. Through all of this therapy, she has stripped me of my defenses. I can no longer block out the feelings. They are much to overwhelming. I am walking a fine line between reality and insanity...the worst part is that I am totally aware of it, but nobody else seems to be. So, let me leave you with this fnal thought for today:
"I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, Godless, evil stuff...and I want in."-Homer Simpson